#4 Aug. 21, 2020

An Answer?

Part of me feels I haven’t grieved deeply or enough

The grieving that –

            puts you in a suspended state for years or months –

            keeps you in your room for days on end –

            has you continually crying –

            makes you rip your clothes –

            covers  yourself with ashes –

            has you drinking and drugging for days, months –

            cuts you off from the world of the living –

            takes away the spark of life and leaves you inert –

            makes you see nothing and not wanting to see –

Did I go back to life too soon?

My boy was here for 21 years and 226 days


I was out of work for 8 DAYS?

I had to get on with my life so soon?

            WAS IT ENOUGH?

Yes, I’m still grieving, but not in that freshly deep,

            despairing, drowning way. 

Yet, I’ve asked myself thousands of times

            was it enough?

            Was It Enough?

            WAS IT ENOUGH?           

Maybe one day I’ll know

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